I closed my eyes. Fear creeped in. Afraid I will be awake knowing you are no longer around. No longer loving me. No longer part of my life. No longer cares for me. And the worst will be knowing that you are now belonged to someone but that person is not me.
The constant thing that keep bothering me. I am just too afraid to go through it again. The feeling of losing someone you loved so much.
As days go by, I stepped deeper into this infatuation, unable to control myself, the feelings just developed as I opened myself and bring myself closer to you.
Yes..and your reciprocation to every step taken by me just catalysed the whole development of my feelings for you. I never expect it to develop that fast and suprisingly so solid.
But I'm just afraid. Telling myself to hold my feelings for you is almost impossible. It will never happen that way. Is true, you do not suddenly decide that you love a person. It comes without knowing.
Yes, I know you will tell me now that your feelings for me will not change and it will last. But none of us can guarantee what will happen in the future. As the song sang, Que serra serra, the future not ask to see. Who knows what will happen tomorrow right?
No point thinking so far. But I just cannot stop thinking ahead. I am selfish I know when it comes to love. I know that if you really love somebody, you should wish him happy. And that does not neccesarily mean his happiness is with you. But I will wish is forever with me.
I do not know what will happen, but I certainly know, there will be insatisfaction and difficulties faced. I have lots to learn and tonnes to improve. I am not even sure if I will succeed in life.
Yes, we can have big dreams, but no promises of achieving them. We only keep trying till we succeed. It sometimes just make me dumbfounded, I do not know where to start on realising my dreams. The only I can do right now is at least passed my exam and graduate faster. One thing I am sure, there will be a lot hardwork before I can succeed.
I just hope, I do not disappoint the person I love most again.
No one can tell what will happen in future. Only God knows. I can only do my part and do my best.
p/s: I know you will sure scold me for being silly. Is just one of those deep thought I had yesterday, not planning to post it, but after reading a post written by a blogger, feel like posting it. I think too much...sorry, yesterday suddenly quite emo xD
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