Don't get too carried away

Have you ever experienced, within you, lies a few personality? No, is not about mood changes, is being who you are and what suit you best. As for myself, I know well that the serious side of me suited me best. But being too serious, just make you dull and most importantly people see you lacked humour. Not being serious, on the other side, makes you like a weakling, who is too comfortable being in the comfort zone and lack conciousness and alert to surrounding. Is the same problem that arise, when a country is too peaceful and did not prepared any contigency plan to manage any unforeseen risk. When you have a comfort zone, you get too carried away in your comfort zone. Yes, being in a comfort zone is really heaven, but it is not a good environment mould you to be strong and resilient. I have heard of a story about this great general from China, who won many battles. The country is peaceful under his governance. The people think he enjoyed himself after the war. He will place a candy beside his bed and each time before he sleep, he will lick the candy, such pleasure of life to symbolise how sweet his life at the moment. The peacefulness didnt last long and the country was at war again. Many thought that they will lose this time because the general has not been preparing for war during the peaceful time and was enjoying themselves. However, to their surprise, the general was fully prepared and they manage to overcome the war. One officer went into the general room and tried licking the candy. Guess what? The candy is actually bitter. The officer later questioned the general about the candy, and the general told him, Although I am at peace and time is good, I never forgot the hardship I went through before this, and therefore, the bitter candy serves to remind me not get too carried away by the goodness I have now. As for myself, I know I got carried away when times were good, lacked the resilient and maturity. Is only when things get bitter, I start to wake up. I have been through that, experienced that. No, I am not going to repeat history again. Stay focus, stay awake, stay alert. I still have a dream to accomplished!

An hourglass

3.38pm- was busy rushing my work but was interrupted by a sudden urge to blog after my inspiration was triggered by a recent post. And also this post will be dedicated to a loyal fan who always complain no updates....so better blog it before i lose my inspiration to write :p

What do you do when you see your love ones unhappy?
I try to cheer him up...

How?
Maybe tell him a joke, bring him to his favourite restaurant, buy him a gift, sing him a song, do a lame action, cook him a meal, give him a hug, and do whatever I think I can to please him and make him smile...

-But I tried doing all of that. I saw him reciprocate my action with a smile. But I know he is just trying his best to please me. I can somehow sense he is still unhappy.
-No...he don't want me to hug him. In fact, he is been ignoring my call and messages. Even if he do, he just do want to talk much.
- He seems like a completely different person. I feel like a stranger. He shut me out from his life.
- He give excuses like I am tired. I have no mood. I am busy. He never done those before no matter how busy his days were last time.
- Every time we meet, I can sense he is making an effort to hide away his unhappiness. I just know something is not right.I feel a gap between us.
- He said he needs some time alone.

Anything happened to him recently?
Yeah...
-His dog just pass away.
-He failed his exam.
- He got fired from his job.
-He got into a great debt/ faced a great financial difficulties.
-His dream was shattered by an unforeseen event.
-His closest family member/friends just pass away.
-His parent found out he is gay and want to disown him.
-He is diagnosed with serious sickness/he got into accident and was immobilise.
-His family member is seriously sick and need a huge sum of money for medical expenses.

I saw him crying the other day. I have never seen him so sad in his entire life. He is always a jovial person you know?

I wanted to help him. I just wanted to cheer him up. I know I can't. Not unless I can help him to solve his current problem.

But how?

Why I'm so poor? If only I have the money that he needed so badly.
If only I can find a good doctor that will be able to treat him.
If only I have the abilitity to take away all his problem.
If only I am the one facing those problem instead of him.

Don't he know that I love him so much that I will always wish that nothing happened to him?
I rather be the one suffering instead of him.

But what I can do? I just sit here so helpless while knowing he needs a helping hand to get him out of his trouble...

I feel so useless.

And do you know? We have never really talk much for quite some time.

- I want to see him and be there with him but he keep avoiding me and said he do not want me to see him in his current situation.
- I do not know how to face him. I feel I am so useless. As his boyfriend, isn't it I should be the one to help him out. But is not that I do not want to, I do not know how.

Why real life is not same with what I watched in movies? In the movie, the actor/actress will somehow found a way to help his love ones and everything ended happily ever after. The knight in shining armor saving his damsel in distress....

How can I save my damsel in distress? Am I just going to sit here and watch her tortured by the evil witch?

Can someone please tell me what to do?

We argued. We quarrel. I was annoyed. I feel bad. I feel a tense between us. A gap. Misunderstanding. He said I do not understand him at all. Accusing that I am insensitive.

I tried doing something that make him feel bad instead. It got worse.

The worst thing happened I am striked with some problem myself too. I am afraid to tell him knowing he has been through enough himself.

Where are the happy days when we feel so happy by just seeing and looking at each other in the eyes? Where are the days when we laughed together at silly things we saw? Where are the days when we feel like we are the happiest couple on earth? Where are the days when we talk until the wee morning?

I really wish anything can be back to normal. I miss those days....

Have you experienced something like this before? Have you ever thought of something like this could happen before?

What do you do?

Do you know your loved ones never wish to see you unhappy?

Is true that when you are happy, everyone can share your happiness, but when you got into trouble, only you can feel the real pain....

What do you do? Continue to feel sorry for yourself? What can you do? Hide yourself away? Cry? Is ok to cry, but getting into depression?

Who knows what will happend tomorrow? You expect life to be a smooth ride? In everyone's life, at a point somehow, you will need to face a test that will either make you grow up or break you. You learn to grow stronger with every challenges you faced.

Your loved ones really wish to help you. But sometimes, there are certain things, only you can help yourself. And of course God. We only pray to the Almighty one to reduce the test we have to endure.

If you do not have faith that things will turn out better, no words of console or action can really help you.

Just remember, when you are suffering, your loved ones are going through with you too. Just think a while, what if it is you who are watching them suffering? Can you feel the helpless feeling they have?

When both of you first agreed to commit to one another, you know in time of good and bad, in time of wealth and poor, in time of happy and sorrow, both of you have agreed that you will go throught it together.

Is ok if you need sometime alone, but not till the extent of shutting off entirely. A listening ear is what I can offer you. A shoulder to cry on and a warm hug with a words of assurance that you are not alone after all. And in my entire effort, I will of course want to get you out from your situation.

But we are just human after all. Only the Almight one above know when will all this end. Till then we just need to keep our faith high and hope for things to turn out better.

I am not a genie to able to grant you every wish. I always wish I am, but I am not.

If you really love someone, do not shut them away. As far I am concern, this is usually the situation that bring a great tense into a relationship no matter is heterosexual or homosexual one. Especially married couples.

Both are together, it means the bond as a family. As a family, bad times are meant to be faced together. Wouldn't it be selfish that you want to go through everything yourself, leaving your partner feeling helpless and useless?

Talk together. Share together. Cry together. Pray together. When life tries to be funny to you, laugh at it together like how both laughed when saw funny things. Tell each other, tomorrow will be better, even if it don't, is not the end, we will go through it together till things get better.

A quote I remembered reading: "Life is like an hourglass, eventually everything will hit the bottom, till someone come and turn it around"

Everything will be good again, just stay put and never give up on your loved ones....

P/s: this post is not about me, it is written as an inspiration for anyone or maybe myself in the future if helpess situation like this happened in a relationship ;)

Easier said than done, but if given a good try, I believe it will somehow work!