Compass

Waking up feeling zombified these days,

I felt like there is no sense of direction in my daily life,

I am really losing interest in what I am doing,

But despite it all, I have finally come to the last stage,

It is really not the time to give up but rather finishing it and end it once and for all,

Is really difficult to be outstanding in something you have no passion and no interest,

Trying each time to convince yourself again and again,

Im amazed how I manage to pull through each stage when my other peers even failed to pass,

What is next after this?

How am I going to endure for the continuing future doing this thing?

I really tried setting up my mind to like what Im doing, but it just wont register into my head,

I really has taken one wrong step in my life,

How silly is it, because of my desire to chase after something that I couldnt get in the past,

I ended up here, is not a bad place, in fact it offers a bright opportunity,

But if only I have met the right person and having someone to guide me, I knew I would have end up somewhere better

But I am just completely not good at it,

Despite all these, I found something that I like, and it became my only focus object,

You can't blame me, is after all what I have been looking for so long,

I felt so insecure recently, no clear sense of direction, is like I just followed where the wind blowed me,

I just hope there is someone to show me the way or at least tell me what to do,

I really want to have a clearer direction of my own life,

At the moment , I would just need to endure what I am doing until I found the opportunity,

Just needed someone guide me sometimes and motivating me,

Glad that I still have this blog to rant out everything I wanted to,

At least I felt some relief.

If only I have a compass that can lead me....

Fiction became reality?

Waking up with a bright smile,
No feeling of wanting to go back to sleep although is just slightly after dawn,
The anticipation is better than the kickboost from caffein,
Imagining how each plan of ours for the day unfold,
All I wanted now is to quickly meet you and start our adventure,
Leaving everything behind,
Knowing we have lots of time,
But each second that passed will be savoured,
Happy times tend to accelerate,
Finally after those tiring period,
I can hold your hand for the longest period of time,
No deadline, no exams, no work, no challenge,
Where missing you became kissing you,
A holiday worth remembering,
Will this fiction ever became a reality?

Confusion

Sometimes I am confused of my own feeling,
Am I clingy or worried?
Worried? What is there to be worried about?
Do I care too much?
Do I tried too hard?
Am I overprotective?
Am I causing myself too much stress?
I have lots other important thing to care about which I am neglecting,
Is not I purposely choose to do that, I just cannot concentrate,
Not knowing what is happening, I cannot sleep, I cannot stay calm,
And knowing I could reach you and know about your whereabout easily,
But I do not know If I am doing the right things, interogating so much,
I know I do not need worry about you and you will be just fine,
But I cannot bring myself to do that,
And when I chose to ignore that feeling, there is a possibility something might go wrong and it has proven right from the incident happened not so long ago,
No...is just impossible that I will not feel worry about you if I know you are somewhere out there for such long period of time,
I am worried because you matter too much ,
I am worried because I could not bare knowing something happened to you,
I am worried because I love you too much,
And I'm glad I finally reached you before ending this post,
I just want know you are safe and sound,
I'm relief that you are ;)
p/s: No wonder i keep having white hair, u r one of the main contributor! >