How much is the right amount?

I am new.
I am inexperience.
I have a traditional mindset.
I do not want to appear like very annoying or what the chinese would have call it, "fan"(烦).
Over-controlling or maybe over protective. Sometimes maybe is my fault. I do not understand that my partner is not a girl.
Or maybe I do not understand the other person.
This post was originally long. But I have deleted them. Sometimes I think I even need to choose my words.
I have no idea why things have to be so formal. I tried opening up to you sometimes, but no matter how much assurance you gave me that is ok for me to be open to you, I still remain very concious. Is as though I have a good image to protect. Don't you notice you just proven is not so ok to seek others for help?
Sometimes I just lost track. I think I am doing the right thing for doing this and that, but I never ask if is really what you want. I may think what I did is the right thing, but you may see it as maybe too much, over controlling or maybe over protective.
Or you would have think, "C'mon, I am not a kid ok?"
This post was originally very long, but I just do not want make you uncomfortable by writing too much of unneccessary thing.
So, I will just stick to the main point.
You just need tell me what is your need. I totally respect that. I believe everyone need is different. I may have think I am giving you what I think you need, but to you is actually not what you really need. And at the end of the day, you are basically still deprived of what you need.
I am not doing anything for you to satisfy my personal ego. I do it because I cared. There are things I am incapable of doing sometimes, but each little thing I think I can do it, I have done what I could in my ability to do it.
Maybe you should tell me what are the right thing to do. Sorry, I have not been someone's boyfriend before. There are many do's and don't I am not aware of.
I do not want to be doing the unneccessary thing all the time whilst missing those that I should have done.
I am not here just to utter I love you everyday for fun. I believe in action. What I can do for you, is how I can show I cared and love you.
I believed we are here to help each other progress in life. There are certainly more than just being romantic.
Last but not least, all I have done is just because I cared, but I may have been excessive sometimes, I do not know.
You just need tell me what you need. I admit I need direct clue from you. Don't beat around the bush.
p/s: this post is not well written, I just do not know how to put it in right words. But the main emphasis is, maybe you should tell me what is your definition of a boyfriend. I will always respect your need. Believe me.