Funny Application Form
Why the boss fainted when see the form filled by the interviewee ?
Name : Ah Boy
Age : Still young
Sex : Never. Still under age
Religion : I only have experience praying my cat who dead 2 years before
Race : I love to race, how you know?
Nationality : I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo
IC Number : 6735
Telephone number : House no telephone
Hand phone number : 3310
Address : Penang Jelutong
City : Nor Haliza?
Postcode : I never post anything
State : In my family, I am 2nd
Country : I love to travel to Canada
Marriage status : Secret
Email Address : Hotmail
Education Background : My teacher said not bad
Working experience : Last time got sell pirated VCD
Father's name : Daddy
Father's IC : You ask him
Mother's name : Mummy
Mother's IC : You ask her
Current Salary : Depends on my daddy mood
Expected Salary : As much as you can pay
When can start work : Depends on my mood
Highest qualification : Ya, very high
Grade : Ya, very high
College/University : College
Signature : Can I use chop?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Random jokes :)
Joke 1
Wife - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hubby - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
Joke 2
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.
After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog.
Joke 3
Two lawyers were planning to go to Batu Ferringi for their 12th anniversary. The lady told her husband that she has to finish her case and would come down in a week. The husband said ok and left for Batu Ferringi.
It had been a week and the husband was going to email his wife to make sure she was still coming. He forgot her email address and put down what he remembered.
An old woman was sitting in her rocker crying because her husband had died 1 week ago and the computer said you've got mail, so she clicked on it and she fell to the floor dead. The house keeper ran in and found the woman dead. She didn't see why the woman died, but she looked on the computer screen and this is what it said "I have been down here for about a week now and it's really hot down here. I have been waiting for you. Come soon!
Love you lots,
Your husband"
Joke 4
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: Im the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Your Mom, shes the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. Were here to take care of your needs, so well call you the people. The nanny, well consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nannys room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thin k I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Joke 5
The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?"
Jessica responds: "That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!"
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye!"
"That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"
And turning to Jessica, she says: "I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"
Joke 6
Dad....
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Joke 7
Ah Soh married Ah Leng with a son Ah Zai. So father and son Ah Soh Zai. Ah Leng has been suffering hearing problem since young but the bond of love between the two couple is so strong that Ah Soh has decided to married her even though she is suffering slight disability.
They are a happy family until one day...
Ah Soh was not back home and it was already passed midnight. Ah Leng was very worried and was anxiously waiting for Ah Soh for home. Ah Leng called Ah Zai to phone his dad. Ah Zai obediently phone his dad.
"So what did dad say??!! Is he coming home??!" ask Ah Leng impatiently after Ah Zai has made the phone call. " Dono leh, A Girl answered the phone.." Replied Ah Zai while rubbing his head...
"WHAT!, YOU SURE OR NOT...CALL AGAIN!!"
" errr....ok"
(After putting down the phone...)
"so how...so how...what he says??!!""
"Same leh, the same girl answered the phone."
"Fine.....DON'T CALL HIM ALREADY, I DO NOT CARE HIM ANYMORE" said Ah Leng furiously. ( went to bed)
Next morning, Ah Soh finally reached home....
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!! DO YOU STILL LOVE ME??!!" shouted Ah Leng while tears stream down her cheek
"Of course darling i love you so much! I was working...sorry i did not inform you because my phone ran out of battery " explained Ah Soh
" LIAR!! Stop giving feeble excuses..WHY AH ZAI PHONED YOU 3 TIMES AND WAS ANSWERED BY A GIRL!??! could you explain that?? YOU SLEPT WITH A GIRL?? YOU DO NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE? "
"hmm??.....err......i was alone, im sure of it, I will never lie to you, trust me" Ah Soh unable to explained and he was telling the truth.
who was the girl??? It was the mobile operator service provider....
Wife - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hubby - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
Joke 2
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.
After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog.
Joke 3
Two lawyers were planning to go to Batu Ferringi for their 12th anniversary. The lady told her husband that she has to finish her case and would come down in a week. The husband said ok and left for Batu Ferringi.
It had been a week and the husband was going to email his wife to make sure she was still coming. He forgot her email address and put down what he remembered.
An old woman was sitting in her rocker crying because her husband had died 1 week ago and the computer said you've got mail, so she clicked on it and she fell to the floor dead. The house keeper ran in and found the woman dead. She didn't see why the woman died, but she looked on the computer screen and this is what it said "I have been down here for about a week now and it's really hot down here. I have been waiting for you. Come soon!
Love you lots,
Your husband"
Joke 4
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: Im the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Your Mom, shes the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. Were here to take care of your needs, so well call you the people. The nanny, well consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nannys room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thin k I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Joke 5
The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?"
Jessica responds: "That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!"
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye!"
"That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"
And turning to Jessica, she says: "I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"
Joke 6
Dad....
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Joke 7
Ah Soh married Ah Leng with a son Ah Zai. So father and son Ah Soh Zai. Ah Leng has been suffering hearing problem since young but the bond of love between the two couple is so strong that Ah Soh has decided to married her even though she is suffering slight disability.
They are a happy family until one day...
Ah Soh was not back home and it was already passed midnight. Ah Leng was very worried and was anxiously waiting for Ah Soh for home. Ah Leng called Ah Zai to phone his dad. Ah Zai obediently phone his dad.
"So what did dad say??!! Is he coming home??!" ask Ah Leng impatiently after Ah Zai has made the phone call. " Dono leh, A Girl answered the phone.." Replied Ah Zai while rubbing his head...
"WHAT!, YOU SURE OR NOT...CALL AGAIN!!"
" errr....ok"
(After putting down the phone...)
"so how...so how...what he says??!!""
"Same leh, the same girl answered the phone."
"Fine.....DON'T CALL HIM ALREADY, I DO NOT CARE HIM ANYMORE" said Ah Leng furiously. ( went to bed)
Next morning, Ah Soh finally reached home....
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!! DO YOU STILL LOVE ME??!!" shouted Ah Leng while tears stream down her cheek
"Of course darling i love you so much! I was working...sorry i did not inform you because my phone ran out of battery " explained Ah Soh
" LIAR!! Stop giving feeble excuses..WHY AH ZAI PHONED YOU 3 TIMES AND WAS ANSWERED BY A GIRL!??! could you explain that?? YOU SLEPT WITH A GIRL?? YOU DO NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE? "
"hmm??.....err......i was alone, im sure of it, I will never lie to you, trust me" Ah Soh unable to explained and he was telling the truth.
who was the girl??? It was the mobile operator service provider....
Monday, July 6, 2009
A reminder for H1N1-very funny XD
So..remember to take care of your hygiene not only during this time, but all the time!!
ps: can anyone tell me please, those gals dancing in the video are guy rite?? i am not wrong rite?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I am on the top of the world :)
Today I outdid myself, I went hiking for the first time with Alex and friend and climb such a high hill. Did I told you that I fear of height a lot? I was very nervous through out the hiking. To my surprise I have always thought that climbing up is the most difficult part, but instead going down was the most challenging part. The place is so steep and I feel like I will fall down and die that instant or paralyse myself. LOL. I keep asking God to protect me. From this hiking I realise that leaving up something is easy, but if you want put it down, it can be very difficult. It is just like your feeling, the process of developing that feeling for someone or something is not easy, and when you finally have it, you feel so reluctant to let it down. Yes, when I am on top already, I just don't feel like going down. However, I have no choice, no matter how beautiful it is, you still have to let it go. During the process of climbing down the hill. it is really challenging and more difficult than going up hill.
I have the most adventerous holiday ever. I went caving, water rafting, and hiking. But did I told you this is also my most scarry holiday? I gt cuts all over my hand and leg. Haha, I know I am bit clumsy. I even knock my head on the sharp stalactite. Luckily didn't bleed.
Ok, below are the few pictures from the hill. Not many because my friend haven't upload them.
Conclusion, though is tough but is fun! However, if you ask me do it every week, I will faint for sure!! LOL
Friday, June 19, 2009
Always on my mind
I always told myself, if God ever give me a chance now and ask me, “Kenny, will you want to erase all the memory that you have”? My answer will be a definite “YES”. The memory I have about you is seriously getting me no where. It is a tormenting feeling. I always feel like I am stuck and can never move forward or do other things. You just keep appearing in my mind all the time. I asked too many times, wondering all the time, what makes me so attached to you? Is like no reason. Is this what you call chemistry? Or maybe this is what you call stupid. However, I never really feel stupid, in fact I never learn to give up on you. It is really amazing.
I went for a caving and water rafting in Perak few days ago. Through out the trip, I am thinking about you. Inside the car, I think about you. While eating, I think about you. During the caving, I think about you. While talking to my friend, I think about you. Before sleep, I think about you. I never really enjoy the trip, my mind is just too occupied. Each time, I heard about you and YV, I feel like I am dead. This is really so insane. The only time when you don’t appear in my mind is when I am super busy with my work.
I always ask the same question again and again. God, why do you give me such a gift? What does it mean for me actually? I never choose to love you. I never choose the feeling; it comes all of a sudden. At first, I can’t really make out what the feeling is actually, and is scary at that moment. It is so confusing. The endless heartbeat. When I discovered that I actually have fallen for you, is really too late, I can’t get out from it. How many times I convince myself, how many times I lie to my own feeling, and how I tried to avoid any connection with you, is just makes me even miss you more. Is this a charm? Is this a curse?
I am wondering all the time, if I lose you, will I ever found another person that I can love so deeply again? Will I ever even have a chance to find someone again? I just don’t know what to do. I just scare to lose you. I really feel dumb. I feel I am really dumb.
Question that I wonder all the time, what do treat me as? What is my position in your heart? Do you treasure me? Do I ever mean anything to you? Do you ever treat me as your best friend? I remember you told me, you will always treat me as your brother. But those are so long ago already. Do you still mean what you said? I know I am in no right to expect anything from you, but if there is a slight feeling, where you think I have mean something to you, then is really more than enough.
I just really hope, you will not hate me or severe all ties with me when you found out one day. Believe me, loving someone is never wrong and is never easy....
I went for a caving and water rafting in Perak few days ago. Through out the trip, I am thinking about you. Inside the car, I think about you. While eating, I think about you. During the caving, I think about you. While talking to my friend, I think about you. Before sleep, I think about you. I never really enjoy the trip, my mind is just too occupied. Each time, I heard about you and YV, I feel like I am dead. This is really so insane. The only time when you don’t appear in my mind is when I am super busy with my work.
I always ask the same question again and again. God, why do you give me such a gift? What does it mean for me actually? I never choose to love you. I never choose the feeling; it comes all of a sudden. At first, I can’t really make out what the feeling is actually, and is scary at that moment. It is so confusing. The endless heartbeat. When I discovered that I actually have fallen for you, is really too late, I can’t get out from it. How many times I convince myself, how many times I lie to my own feeling, and how I tried to avoid any connection with you, is just makes me even miss you more. Is this a charm? Is this a curse?
I am wondering all the time, if I lose you, will I ever found another person that I can love so deeply again? Will I ever even have a chance to find someone again? I just don’t know what to do. I just scare to lose you. I really feel dumb. I feel I am really dumb.
Question that I wonder all the time, what do treat me as? What is my position in your heart? Do you treasure me? Do I ever mean anything to you? Do you ever treat me as your best friend? I remember you told me, you will always treat me as your brother. But those are so long ago already. Do you still mean what you said? I know I am in no right to expect anything from you, but if there is a slight feeling, where you think I have mean something to you, then is really more than enough.
I just really hope, you will not hate me or severe all ties with me when you found out one day. Believe me, loving someone is never wrong and is never easy....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
