No title

Since is Christmas, I thought I will be posting about something happy,

I even count my days to the happy days ahead,

I dont know how and what should I feel,

as much as i try to tell myself not to think about it and stay positve,

each time i close my eyes, it just come into my mind,

I cant even sleep despite only having 3 hours of sleep,

Why do I have to see it so narrowly?

I wish I could just get over it,

I wish even more you have not mention about it before,

I guess is because I really look forward to it really badly,

Staying patient and working hard,

I thought I could finally deserve a sweet treat,

A least something that motivates me before starting off a new year,

A completely new year facing the working life,

Which I still feel so mentally unprepared for it because I know the kinda pressure I am going to face daily,

I just want that motivation,

I really look forward to doing this with you,

I am not the usually so pestering type,

I have always learn to accept that sometimes thing do not go my way,

But I really want this so badly,

I couldnt accept still the reason why it didnt work out,

You may wonder that I could still proceed the plan with someone else,

Is not about doing it, is about this little wish and dream of mine,

It will just not be the same without you,

Maybe I felt this way is because I have been depress recently,

I feel so deprived of you,

I miss those times when you are around,

I thought I finally could have some solid and quality moment with you,

I just want to be away from this stress, some happy moment with you,

Why it just have to turn out this way?

I really feel so emotional and depress,

I dont know how to get out of it,

I am really trying hard, hence the consistent pestering despite you already tell me the answer.

Why do it always have to end up with disappoinment?

If this instant, someone can tell me what I could do to make it happen,

I would have really go all the way to do it, really..I really meant it,

I just want you around without any rush, without the constant need to check the time, and worry about receiving phone calls...

T_T