Why woman can't read map and men don't listen...

The below story is a diary from a his and her...
HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. ; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I wanted to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY
MAN UTD. lost 2-0 to Chelsea today, but at least I got laid.

Part 2- A letter from a wife to her husband...


Dear Husband:I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell.Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home andate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Signed: Your EX-Wife

Reply from husband:
Dear Ex-Wife:Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you'vebeen. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eatingpork seven years ago.I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was acoincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us twotickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was bornCarla. I hope that's not a problem.

That is why people always say men and women think differently... ;)