How misunderstanding really kills relationship...

The below story really moved me to tears. T________T Really sad.


Subject: Misunderstandings really do affect all of us..Pls read

A very touching story.
>

> Part 1...
>
> A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me
> the most in this world
> is gone forever.
>
> This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated
> by LD, edited by LSX,
> translated by SaFe).
>
> Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted
> the blissful footsteps
> to our family. Our original intend of having Mother
> enjoy some quiet and
> peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went
> terribly wrong as
> destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price,
> every thing became too
> late.
>
> Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up
> the idea of asking
> Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her
> remaining years with
> us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still
> very young. Mother endured
> much hardship and struggled all on her own to
> provide for him, see him
> through to a university degree. You could say that
> she suffered a great deal
> and did everything you could expect of a woman to
> bring hubby to where he is
> today.
>
> I immediately agreed and started packing the spare
> room, which has a
> balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the
> sunshine and plant some
> greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and
> suddenly just picked me up and
> started spinning round and round. As I begged him to
> put me down, he said:
> "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized
> and I love to rest on
> his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick
> me up at any moment put
> the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an
> argument and both refuses
> to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over
> his head continuously
> until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became
> addicted to this kind of
> panic-joy feeling.
>
> Mother brought along her country-side habits and
> lifestyle with her. For
> example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate
> the living room, she
> could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know
> how you young people
> spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You
> also can't eat the
> flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in
> the house, our mood will
> also become better." Mother continues to grumble
> away, and hubby smiled:
> "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will
> get use to it."
>
> Mother stopped saying anything. But every time
> thereafter, whenever I came
> home with flowers, she would ask me how much it
> costs. I told her and she
> would shake her head and express displeasure.
> Sometimes, when I come home
> with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and
> every item how much they
> cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get
> even more upset about it.
> Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You
> little fool, just don't tell
> her the full price of everything would solve it."
> There begins the friction
> to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
>
> Mother hates it most when hubby wake up early to
> prepare the breakfast. In
> her view, how could the man of the house cook for
> the wife. At the breakfast
> table, mother facial _expression is always like the
> dark clouds before a
> thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She
> would use her chopsticks
> and make a lot of noise with it as her silent
> protest. As I am a dance
> teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted
> from a long day of dancing
> around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that
> additional few minutes
> in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf
> ear to all the protest
> mother makes.
>
> From time to time, mother would help out with some
> housework, but soon her
> help created additional work for me. For example:
> she would keep all kinds
> of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell
> them later on, and that
> resulted in our house being filled with all the
> trash bags; she would scrimp
> on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the
> dishes and so as not to
> hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again.
> One day, late at night,
> mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam"
> she slams her bedroom
> door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was
> placed in a difficult
> position, and after that, he did not speak to me for
> that entire night. I
> pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute,
> but he totally ignored
> me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"
> Hubby stared at me and
> said: "Can't you just give in to her once? we
> couldn't possibly die eating
> from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
>
> After that incident, for a long period of time,
> mother did not speak to me
> and you can feel that there is a very awkward
> feeling hanging in the house.
> During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in
> dilemma as to who to
> please.
>
> In order to stop her son from having to prepare
> breakfast, mother took on
> the "all important" task of preparing breakfast
> without any prompting. At
> the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby
> happily eating his breakfast
> and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having
> failed to perform my duty
> as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast
> situation, I resorted to
> buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
>
> That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset
> and asked me: "LD, is it
> because you think that mum's cooking is not clean
> that's why you chose not
> to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and
> left me alone in tears as
> feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some
> time, hubby sighed: "LD,
> just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am
> left with no choice but
> to return to the breakfast table.
>
> The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by
> mother and I felt a
> sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside
> seem to be rushing up my
> throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but
> I couldn't. I threw
> down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and
> vomited everything out. Just
> as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and
> grumbling very loudly
> in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom
> doorway staring at me
> with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but
> no words came out of
> it, I really didn't mean it.
>
> We had our very first big fight that day; mother
> took a look at us, then
> stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
> Hubby gave me a final
> stare in the eye and followed mother down the
> stairs.
>
> For three days, hubby did not return home, not even
> a phone call. I was so
> furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my
> best and putting up with
> her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason,
> I keep having the
> feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite
> for food, coupled with
> all the events happening at home, I was at the low
> point in my life.
> Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible,
> you should go and see a
> doctor."
>
> The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it
> became clear to me why I
> threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness
> floated through that
> otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother
> who had been through this
> before, thought of the possibility of this being the
> reason that day? At the
> hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It
> had only been three
> days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn
> and leave, but one look at
> him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and
> called out to him. He
> followed my voice and finally found me but he
> pretended that he doesn't know
> me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut
> right through my heart.
>
> I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail
> a cab. At that moment, I
> have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my
> hubby: "Darling, I am
> having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin
> me round in circles of
> joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the
> cab, my tears started
> rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even
> withstand the test of one
> fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my
> hubby, and the
> disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the
> corner of the blanket.
>
> That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me
> up. I switched on the
> lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his
> face. He was removing the
> money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me,
> took the bank deposit book
> and some money and left the house. Maybe he really
> intends to leave me for
> good. What a rational man, so clear cut in love and
> money matters. I gave a
> few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down
> again.
>
> The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to
> clear this out and have a
> good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his
> secretary gave me a weird
> look and said: "Mr Tan's mother had a traffic
> accident and is now in the
> hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the
> hospital and by the time
> I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby
> did not look at me, his
> face was expressionless.
>
> I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I
> couldn't control the
> tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
> Throughout the funeral,
> hubby did say a single word to me, with only the
> occasional disgusted stare
> at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about
> the accident from other
> people. That day, after mother left the house, she
> walked in dazed toward
> the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her
> old house back in the
> country-side. As hubby ran after her, she tried to
> walk faster and as she
> tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit
> her...
>
> I finally understood how much hubby must hate me,
> if I had not thrown up
> that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...
>
> In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his
> mother.
>
> Part 2 and end...
>
> Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every
> night with a strong
> liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the
> guilt and self pity and
> could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him,
> tell him that we are going
> to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead
> look in his eyes, all
> the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell
> back in. I had rather he
> hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough
> scolding though none of these
> events happening had been my fault at all.
>
> Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the
> days went by, hubby
> came home later and later. The deadlock between us
> continues, we were living
> together like strangers who don't know each other. I
> am like the dead knot
> in his heart.
>
> One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking
> into the glass window, I
> saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and
> he very lightly brushed
> her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After
> recovering from that
> moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in
> front of my hubby and
> stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have
> nothing to say to him, and
> there is no need to say anything.
>
> The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up
> and wanted to go, hubby
> stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared
> back at me, challenging
> me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one
> by one as if at the
> brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had
> stood that any longer, I
> will collapse together with the baby inside me.
>
> That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to
> use that as a way to
> indicate to me: Following mother's death, so did our
> love for each other. He
> did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes,
> when I returned home from
> work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched
> - he had returned to
> take some of his stuff.
>
> I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to
> explain everything to
> him vanished.
>
> I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone,
> my heart breaks again
> and again every time I see a guy carefully helping
> his wife through the
> physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to
> me to consider aborting
> the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on
> having to this baby,
> perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing
> her death.
>
> One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the
> living room. The whole
> house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee
> table, there was this
> piece of paper. I know what it is all about without
> even looking at it.
>
> In the two months plus of living alone, I have
> gradually learned to find
> peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat
> and said: "You wait a
> while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings
> in his eyes, just like
> mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to
> myself "You cannot cry, you
> cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused
> to let tears come out
> from there.
>
> After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed
> at my bulging tummy. I
> smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull e
> paper towards me. Without
> even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it
> and pushed the paper to
> him.
>
> "LD, you are pregnant?"
>
> Since mother's accident, this is the first time he
> spoke to me. I could not
> control my tears any further and they fell like
> raindrops. I said: "Yes, but
> its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the
> dark, we sat, facing each
> other.
>
> Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the
> blanket. In my heart,
> everything seem so far away, so far that even if I
> sprint, I could never
> reach them.
>
> I cannot remember how many times he repeated
> "sorry" to me, I had
> originally thought that I would forgive him, but now
> I can't. In the western
> restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold cold
> look in his eyes, I will
> never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep deep
> scares in each other's
> heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally
> intentional.
>
> I had been waiting for this moment of
> reconciliation, but I realized now,
> what had gone past is gone forever and could not
> repeated! Other than the
> thought of the baby inside me that would bring some
> warmth to my heart, I am
> totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything
> he buys for me, I don't
> take any presents from him and I stopped talking to
> him. From the moment I
> signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had
> vanished from my heart.
>
>
> Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom,
> but when he walks in, I
> will walk out to the living room. He had no choice
> but to sleep in mother's
> room. At night, from his room, I can hear light
> sounds of groaning, I kept
> quiet. This used to be his trick; last time,
> whenever I ignore him, he would
> fake illness and I will surrender and find out what
> is wrong with him, he
> would then grab me and laugh. He have forgotten that
> last time, I cared for
> him and am concerned becau! se there is love, but
> now, what is there between
> us?
>
> Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the
> way till baby was born.
> Almost everyday, he would buy something for the
> baby, infant products,
> children products and books that kids like to read.
> Bags and bags of it
> stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he
> is trying to use this to
> reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his
> actions. He has no choice
> but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his
> typing away on his
> computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web
> surfing, but none of that
> matters to me anymore.
>
> It was sometime towards the end of spring in the
> following year, one late
> night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain,
> hubby came rushing into
> the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and
> had been waiting for
> this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs,
> stopped a car, holding
> my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off
> my brown, throughout the
> journey to the hospital. Once we reached the
> hospital, he carried me and
> hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back
> of his skinny but warmth
> body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who
> else would love me as
> much as he did?
>
> He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me
> go in, his warm eyes
> caused me to managed a smile at him despite my
> contraction pain.
>
> Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at me
> and our son, his eyes
> tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and
> touched his hand.
>
> Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly
> collapsed onto the floor. I
> cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without
> opening that tired eyes
> of his... I had thought that I would never shed any
> tear for him, but the
> truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting
> through my body at that
> moment.
>
> Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he
> had liver cancer, it was
> already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that
> he managed to last this
> long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover
> he had cancer? Doctor
> said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:
> "Prepare for his funeral." I
> disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I
> went into his room and
> checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits
> me.
>
> Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his
> groaning was real, and I
> had thought that... the computer showed over 200
> thousand words he wrote for
> our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be
> able to take a look at
> you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know
> that in your life, you
> will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if
> only I can accompany
> you throughout that journey, how nice would it be.
> But daddy now no long has
> that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the
> possible difficulties and
> problems you may encounter during your lifetime,
> when you meet with these
> problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion...
> Son, after writing these
> 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied
> you through your life
> journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love
> your mother, she has
> suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also
> the one who loves me
> most..."
>
> From play school to primary school, to secondary,
> university, to work and
> even in dealing with questions of love, everything
> big and small was written
> there.
>
> Hubby has also written a letter for me:
>
> "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness,
> forgive me for the pain I
> have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my
> illness, because I want
> to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the
> arrival of our baby... My
> dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven
> me and I would smile,
> thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm
> afraid I cannot give them to
> our son personally, could you help me to give some
> of them to him every
> year, the dates on what to give when are all written
> on the packaging..."
>
> Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
> I brought our son over
> and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes
> and smile, I want our son
> to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
>
> He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak
> smile. Our son still in
> his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the
> air. I press the button on
> the camera and the sound of the shutter rang thought
> the air as tears slowly
> rolled down my face...
>
> The end...

Note: This story is originally from www.mykuaci.com

I had mentioned before that we really should not let misunderstanding happened between a close relationship. Everything should be make clear. You really should not underestimate what a minor misunderstanding can do to a strong relationship. Sometimes in life, we are really face with the dilema of not knowing who to please. Some older people, for example our parents or our grandparents, they just have that old fashion thinking. We can't tolerate them and they can't tolerate us. Moreover, old folks are sensitive beings. They always felt that the younger generation do not value them anymore. It is really difficult to please them. What should younger generation do? What do you think? As for me, it is our duty to honour the elder one, especially if they are our parents. No matter how unreasonable they may be, they are still your parents. Can you still remember how you can be very unreasonable too sometimes? However it is easy for the son to honour their mom and dad. How about the spouse? I had heard many stories of wife having torturing time pleasing their parent in law. The same also applied to some husband who married a wife wealthier than him. Headache. What a complicating world is this, be grateful with what ever good thing you have. Cheers. :-)