Below is an animation I really like. Enjoy :)
Somewhere Between Okay and Not
6 days ago
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
A dog named "Sex"
name ur dog carefully...
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy."
I call mine "Sex."Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I'd like to have one too."Then I said, "You don't understand.I've had Sex since I was nine years old."He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.I said, "
But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole worldrevolves around Sex."He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace.My family is barred from the church from then on.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon,I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.
He said, "Every room in the place is for sex."I said, "You don't understand.Sex keeps me awake at night."The clerk said, "Me too."One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold tickets."But you don't understand,"I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V."He called me a show-off.When my wife and I separated,we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "Me too."Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.He said, "Me too."Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over and asked"What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"I said, "I'm looking for Sex."My case comes up Friday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and hadmore damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.Why just the other day when I went for my firstsession with the psychiatrist,she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now ithas left me forever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely,"and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
Woof!
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy."
I call mine "Sex."Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I'd like to have one too."Then I said, "You don't understand.I've had Sex since I was nine years old."He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.I said, "
But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole worldrevolves around Sex."He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace.My family is barred from the church from then on.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon,I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.
He said, "Every room in the place is for sex."I said, "You don't understand.Sex keeps me awake at night."The clerk said, "Me too."One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold tickets."But you don't understand,"I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V."He called me a show-off.When my wife and I separated,we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "Me too."Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.He said, "Me too."Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over and asked"What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"I said, "I'm looking for Sex."My case comes up Friday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and hadmore damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.Why just the other day when I went for my firstsession with the psychiatrist,she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now ithas left me forever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely,"and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
Woof!
Hilarious conversation
Condom says to Kotex,
"When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so
I can have a NEW ONE every morning!
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: "MASTURBATING."(master bathing)
"When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so
I can have a NEW ONE every morning!
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: "MASTURBATING."(master bathing)
Teach your children to say the right thing XD
1st Scene.
Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room,right in front of their
little son.
Daddy : Oh!!! You Bitch!
Mommy : What?? You Bastard!
Son : Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard??
At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : It means Ladies and Gentlemen son.
Son : Oh I see!
2nd Scene...
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex and there they
mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'.
Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : Mommy, what's breasts and penises?
At this moment, mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mom: It means coats and hats, son.
Son : Oh I see!
3rd Scene...
Daddy was shaving his beard and son passed by; the toilet. Suddenly daddy
cut himself and scream...
Daddy : Oh SHIT!!
Son : Daddy, what's shit?
At this moment, Daddy eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to
say..
Daddy : It means shaving cream, son.
Son : Oh I see!!
4th Scene..
Christmas is approaching, and mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.
The turkey just wouldn't fit into the stove, so she said...
Mommy : Oh! Fuck!
Son : Mommy, what's fuck?
At this moment, Mommy froze.
She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy : It means stuffing, son
Son : Oh I see!!
5th Scene...
It's Chrismas Eve! Little son exuberantly opened the door to let all that
is uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house.
Proudly he said... "Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your
breasts and penises at that corner of the house ! My parent are busy at the
moment. You see; Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs
and mummy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen. Don't worry they will come
out in a minute!!
Everyone fainted!!!!!!!!!!
Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room,right in front of their
little son.
Daddy : Oh!!! You Bitch!
Mommy : What?? You Bastard!
Son : Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard??
At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : It means Ladies and Gentlemen son.
Son : Oh I see!
2nd Scene...
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex and there they
mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'.
Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : Mommy, what's breasts and penises?
At this moment, mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mom: It means coats and hats, son.
Son : Oh I see!
3rd Scene...
Daddy was shaving his beard and son passed by; the toilet. Suddenly daddy
cut himself and scream...
Daddy : Oh SHIT!!
Son : Daddy, what's shit?
At this moment, Daddy eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to
say..
Daddy : It means shaving cream, son.
Son : Oh I see!!
4th Scene..
Christmas is approaching, and mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.
The turkey just wouldn't fit into the stove, so she said...
Mommy : Oh! Fuck!
Son : Mommy, what's fuck?
At this moment, Mommy froze.
She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy : It means stuffing, son
Son : Oh I see!!
5th Scene...
It's Chrismas Eve! Little son exuberantly opened the door to let all that
is uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house.
Proudly he said... "Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your
breasts and penises at that corner of the house ! My parent are busy at the
moment. You see; Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs
and mummy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen. Don't worry they will come
out in a minute!!
Everyone fainted!!!!!!!!!!
Funny Application Form
Funny Application Form
Why the boss fainted when see the form filled by the interviewee ?
Name : Ah Boy
Age : Still young
Sex : Never. Still under age
Religion : I only have experience praying my cat who dead 2 years before
Race : I love to race, how you know?
Nationality : I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo
IC Number : 6735
Telephone number : House no telephone
Hand phone number : 3310
Address : Penang Jelutong
City : Nor Haliza?
Postcode : I never post anything
State : In my family, I am 2nd
Country : I love to travel to Canada
Marriage status : Secret
Email Address : Hotmail
Education Background : My teacher said not bad
Working experience : Last time got sell pirated VCD
Father's name : Daddy
Father's IC : You ask him
Mother's name : Mummy
Mother's IC : You ask her
Current Salary : Depends on my daddy mood
Expected Salary : As much as you can pay
When can start work : Depends on my mood
Highest qualification : Ya, very high
Grade : Ya, very high
College/University : College
Signature : Can I use chop?
Why the boss fainted when see the form filled by the interviewee ?
Name : Ah Boy
Age : Still young
Sex : Never. Still under age
Religion : I only have experience praying my cat who dead 2 years before
Race : I love to race, how you know?
Nationality : I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo
IC Number : 6735
Telephone number : House no telephone
Hand phone number : 3310
Address : Penang Jelutong
City : Nor Haliza?
Postcode : I never post anything
State : In my family, I am 2nd
Country : I love to travel to Canada
Marriage status : Secret
Email Address : Hotmail
Education Background : My teacher said not bad
Working experience : Last time got sell pirated VCD
Father's name : Daddy
Father's IC : You ask him
Mother's name : Mummy
Mother's IC : You ask her
Current Salary : Depends on my daddy mood
Expected Salary : As much as you can pay
When can start work : Depends on my mood
Highest qualification : Ya, very high
Grade : Ya, very high
College/University : College
Signature : Can I use chop?
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