Christmas!

Finally the year is about to come to an end...

Reminisicing what I was doing last year around this time, I couldn't believe a year has passed since then. I remembered I was busy catching the TVB "No Regret" drama series and hoping for a better year ahead. No worries, no expectation and just the same wish.

For me, I love Christmas the most among all the festive season as I felt is the most magical festive season, the lights, the songs and the theme just make the festive felt so warm and merry. In order to make myself happy, I will buy a Christmas present for myself, because I never get what I want for Christmas and I never blame anyone for that! Moreover, Christmas usually come after my final exam and I think I deserve a reward for the hardwork during exam. Furtermore, I would have no holidays to go. How Christmas unfold every year just seems like a routine to me, the same old place for Christmas eve dinner, same food, same kinda expectation, same environment, same people, same present and on Christmas day itself, I sometimes even forget is actually Christmas!

That is because I still continue wishing for the same thing every Christmas, to spend a White Christmas with my special someone, underneath the falling snow and wishing each other a "Merry Christmas" when the clock strikes twelve followed by a warm hug...

Moving on from single to being attached, I thought Christmas is really going to be so different this year, I was imaginning it from the beginning of the year until the year end, I really thought my Christmas wish is goin to come true...

I guess I have not been a good boy afterall, I admit Im not really a good boy this year, Santa Claus just cannot grant my Christmas wish.


Dear Santa,

I no longer wish for a toy. Neither do I need anything fancy or expensive. If there is one thing you want fit into that Christmas sock, I wish is a...

Ticket.

A ticket that allow me to spend Christmas with Him, My special someone, a kiss and a warm hug underneath the falling snow. Ok, snow is optional~!

Nevertheless, it will always be my Christmas wish every year till it ever come true...and if it ever come true, I wish I can have it every year...

That is all I want for Christmas.

But as I once said, the simplest wish always tend not to come true...

I guess I just have to continue wishing harder and perhaps be a good boy next year. Hopefully Santa will grant my wish...

A place of solace

Is been so long since I ever felt like this ...I really don't know how to handle it ...but I just can't control it ...seems like this place no longer allows me to write freely...I just can't get out of it...I feel like breaking down T_T

When someone loves you

it is not easy for two souls to met and love each other. Some people met and fell in love but later it gets sour because both of them do not share the same view about love. Sometimes you compare with other couples or your perception about love, you may feel your partner does not love the way you expect him to love. Actually not everyone is born with the capabilty to love someone so much. Due to differences in their upbringing and cultures, different people share different view about love. Some people engage in a relationship because they are afraid of being lonely, they need someone to call bf, or maybe someone to satisfy their sexual needs. The joyous moment of being in a relationship especially when the relationship just started and evrything seems so lovey davey. Maybe sometimes certain people even allow themselves to create a delusional feelings that their partner love them so much just because of some sweetalks and some affection showered on them that no other person has done for them so far.

Perhaps the biggest mistake some people did when being in a relationship was to compromise too much and too engross with the sweet talking and the intimate moment both of you shared. You failed to question the issue that arise in a relationship for fear of losing that someone and not knowing whether that person will like it or not.

Everyone has different perception on how to love someone. Thus, it is really your luck who you met with. Certain people just like to flirt , some dislike someone who is too clingy , some prefer you to go Dutch when goin out for a date, some prefer to be given more freedom to hang out with their friends , some prefer to put their career first in their lives. For some people, a relationship simply means a companion to fill up their lonely moment. Some people really do not think is a big issue and can be cool about it and still claim their partner loves them as long as they know he still show affection. However , it will be unhappy thing for you and may even lead to constant argument if you do not share the same view as them.

You know when someone really love you :
1)When there is no way, he will still manage to find a way just for you.
2) he is more concern about how you felt rather than how he felt.
3) he rather sacrifice his sleeping time just to stay up to chat with you before goin to bed because he was so busy the whole day.
4) he knows even if he cant call you , he can still text you to ask about your whereabouts although he is so busy, to send and type a SMS doesn't take you more than 2 minutes!
5) he rather you are happy than him because he felt even happier when he knows he has made you happy
6) he rather reduce his own expenses just to save enough for you and for him.
7) he remember all the tiny details about you
8) when he made an effort to remember your phone number without you telling him
9) you are never too troublesome for him
10) he loves it when you tell him your problems because that is the time he knows he can do something for you who he claimed to
Love so much
11) he still loves you although you hurt him so much
12) he no longer show interest in anyone except you
13) he made an effort to know your friends

14) he include you as part of his dream and aspiration in life
15) he still think you are gorgeous when you just woke up from sleep or have a big
Pimple on your nose!

The list continues but those are the examples that how to know someone mean it when they said they loves you.

It takes two person to make a relationship work and to last. Action speaks louder than words and sweetalking and promises means nothing if there is no tangible proof of them. However , not everyone is perfect and some is willing to listen and communicate with each other what is their need and expectation in a relationship.

If you want a relationship to last , find someone who share the same view on love as you or someone who is willing to change for the better because he values the relationship too much.

Im so grateful I found someone who has done that for me, lucky to have you darling!!
15) he is angry when

Compass

Waking up feeling zombified these days,

I felt like there is no sense of direction in my daily life,

I am really losing interest in what I am doing,

But despite it all, I have finally come to the last stage,

It is really not the time to give up but rather finishing it and end it once and for all,

Is really difficult to be outstanding in something you have no passion and no interest,

Trying each time to convince yourself again and again,

Im amazed how I manage to pull through each stage when my other peers even failed to pass,

What is next after this?

How am I going to endure for the continuing future doing this thing?

I really tried setting up my mind to like what Im doing, but it just wont register into my head,

I really has taken one wrong step in my life,

How silly is it, because of my desire to chase after something that I couldnt get in the past,

I ended up here, is not a bad place, in fact it offers a bright opportunity,

But if only I have met the right person and having someone to guide me, I knew I would have end up somewhere better

But I am just completely not good at it,

Despite all these, I found something that I like, and it became my only focus object,

You can't blame me, is after all what I have been looking for so long,

I felt so insecure recently, no clear sense of direction, is like I just followed where the wind blowed me,

I just hope there is someone to show me the way or at least tell me what to do,

I really want to have a clearer direction of my own life,

At the moment , I would just need to endure what I am doing until I found the opportunity,

Just needed someone guide me sometimes and motivating me,

Glad that I still have this blog to rant out everything I wanted to,

At least I felt some relief.

If only I have a compass that can lead me....

Fiction became reality?

Waking up with a bright smile,
No feeling of wanting to go back to sleep although is just slightly after dawn,
The anticipation is better than the kickboost from caffein,
Imagining how each plan of ours for the day unfold,
All I wanted now is to quickly meet you and start our adventure,
Leaving everything behind,
Knowing we have lots of time,
But each second that passed will be savoured,
Happy times tend to accelerate,
Finally after those tiring period,
I can hold your hand for the longest period of time,
No deadline, no exams, no work, no challenge,
Where missing you became kissing you,
A holiday worth remembering,
Will this fiction ever became a reality?

Confusion

Sometimes I am confused of my own feeling,
Am I clingy or worried?
Worried? What is there to be worried about?
Do I care too much?
Do I tried too hard?
Am I overprotective?
Am I causing myself too much stress?
I have lots other important thing to care about which I am neglecting,
Is not I purposely choose to do that, I just cannot concentrate,
Not knowing what is happening, I cannot sleep, I cannot stay calm,
And knowing I could reach you and know about your whereabout easily,
But I do not know If I am doing the right things, interogating so much,
I know I do not need worry about you and you will be just fine,
But I cannot bring myself to do that,
And when I chose to ignore that feeling, there is a possibility something might go wrong and it has proven right from the incident happened not so long ago,
No...is just impossible that I will not feel worry about you if I know you are somewhere out there for such long period of time,
I am worried because you matter too much ,
I am worried because I could not bare knowing something happened to you,
I am worried because I love you too much,
And I'm glad I finally reached you before ending this post,
I just want know you are safe and sound,
I'm relief that you are ;)
p/s: No wonder i keep having white hair, u r one of the main contributor! >

Theme Park? Fun Fair?

Hearing the voice of excitement from people screaming, the familiar looping music from the machines, the beeping sound and laughter from passerby...

The smell of the freshly popped popcorn and the sight of colorful candies and candy floss,

The glimmering colorful light from the graceful ferris-wheel, the sight of roller-coaster, pirate ship, haunted house, the game booth where people trying their luck so hard to get a doll which they can most probably afford to buy them in a store....

I feel like visiting a funfair or theme park, I can safely said is close to a decade since I last been to one. I remembered when I was a kid, is a norm to see fun fair being set up near your housing area. These days, I don't even see any. Maybe people have found other source of entertainment that made the fun fair business not worth embarking.

I somehow prefer the sight of those rides and machines at night, it appear more magical and plus you do not need worry about blazing hot sun.

Having no one to accompany me on those trips with parents to Genting Highlands, I feel like an adult even as a kid. I never have any keen feeling to go for any ride. The very fact that I am not allowed to go and no one to accompany me has made me keep those excitement beneath me. As time goes by, I have accepted that is ok I never get a chance to ride on those machines.

Sometimes I have this idea of maybe going alone one day and tried out all the ride, moreover my uni is just right next to a theme park!!

But I know being me I will most probably abandon the whole idea, few years back maybe I still enjoyed going alone, but these days I will never want visit those kinda places alone, I would never even consider watching a movie in a cinema alone.

If I ever go to a theme park again, I would want try to ride the roller coaster, but I do not know whether I will like it or not also.

And besides fun fair and theme park, something else I also missed is going for a circus!

But now I think circus encouraged animal cruelty, still is nice to watch those performance ...

Those were the times...

Reminiscence...